Pets and People

How to know when it is time to say good­bye?
How do you know when it is time for euthanasia?

This deci­sion is the hard­est part of own­ing a pet, our pets and com­pan­ions have put their trust in us, and we must decide when enough is enough.

I believe there are sev­eral impor­tant ques­tions to ask yourself.

Is the pet still eat­ing and drink­ing?
Can the pet walk enough to get up and go to the toi­let by itself
Is the pet still happy to see you?
Have you had your pet exam­ined by a vet?

If all rea­son­able vet care has been given to the pet and there is noth­ing else you can do to relive the suf­fer­ing it may then be time to con­sider euthanasia.

Peo­ple find this deci­sion very dif­fi­cult and spend a lot of time ago­nis­ing about it. Usu­ally as the dete­ri­o­ra­tion in the pets con­di­tion hap­pens slowly and there is no clear rea­son or time to take the pet down the vet. It is always good to talk to your vet about the con­di­tion of your pet as there maybe sim­ple solu­tions to your pets prob­lems. The vets’ job is to help you make this deci­sion and then sup­port you in this decision.

Some­times eco­nomic rea­son­ing must come into the deci­sion mak­ing, you could spend a lot more money but this may only extend the life of the pet for a small amount of time. Some peo­ple would put them­selves into a lot of debt to pay for the treat­ment of their pets. This always hum­bles me as a vet that peo­ple would go with­out so much to save their pet. But some­times peo­ple have to be real­is­tic and see that the best solu­tion is euthana­sia, this can be quite painful to realise if you had more money you would go ahead with the treat­ment. This is a dif­fi­cult deci­sion to make and you must bal­ance the eco­nomic real­ity to the needs of the pet, your pet would not want you to suf­fer for it sake.

When you know it is time you need to stay focused on that deci­sion and do all the right things to make sure it is a good euthanasia.

By Michael O’Donoghue BVSc
Peo­ple and pets

http://www.people-and-pets.com

Fre­quently asked ques­tions
Am I going mad?
If you have regarded you pet as a friend, fam­ily mem­ber, beloved com­pan­ion, then it is not unusual to be very dis­tressed at the death or impend­ing death of a pet.
Who can I talk to when he/she dies?
Talk to some­one who under­stands the bond you had and who also loves ani­mals.
When is the right time to euth­a­nize a pet? Your vet will be the best guide when it comes to your pet’s phys­i­cal con­di­tion. You will know the time, also when he or she no longer eats or responds or seeks you atten­tion or is in obvi­ous pain.
What do I tell my chil­dren? Chil­dren need to be told clearly and sim­ply that the pet has died– that all things are born, live a life and die. Young chil­dren can become anx­ious about going to sleep if you say that the pet was “put to sleep”.
Will my other pets missed the one who has died?
Ani­mals grieve too. Keep rou­tines reg­u­lar and be patient and atten­tive to their need for atten­tion and com­fort.
When should I get another pet?
It can be best to wait until your emo­tions have set­tled, how­ever, some peo­ple just want and need another ani­mal to love. Be guided by your needs and the readi­ness of fam­ily mem­bers..
Is it OK to feel dif­fer­ently about a new pet? Each ani­mal is dif­fer­ent. It is best to try not to com­pare but allow your­self to dis­cover the unique per­son­al­ity of the new one. Ani­mals have a way of “get­ting into our heart” if we are patient and give them pos­i­tive attention.

Ideas for Man­ag­ing your Grief

Cry when and how you need to– you have lost a spe­cial com­pan­ion. Strong emo­tions can be part of grief.

Walk or exer­cise if you are able and try to eat and sleep regularly.

Keep to your nor­mal rou­tine as much as pos­si­ble as this can pro­vide you some sta­bil­ity and a frame­work for what seems “out of control”.

Be care­ful about excess alco­hol or
caffeine.

Think of “get­ting through” this loss rather than “over it” and be gen­tle with your­self in the meantime.

Chil­dren are not too young or too old to grieve and may need sup­port from some­one other than yourself.

Talk to peo­ple who are sup­port­ive and who under­stand the impor­tance of your com­pan­ion ani­mal to you.

Allow your­self to take the time you need to get through this.

Don’t be afraid or ashamed to seek coun­selling, it can help to talk to some­one who under­stands and who will acknowl­edge your loss.

Cur­rently work­ing as a lec­turer and coun­sel­lor, I have had broad expe­ri­ence with both adults and chil­dren. In pre­vi­ous posi­tions as teacher, in pas­toral care and school coun­selor, much of my work has been in the area of loss and grief. I under­stand the many dimen­sions of pet loss, through both pro­fes­sional and per­sonal expe­ri­ence.
I am avail­able for coun­selling at a num­ber of venues in Bris­bane and Cabool­ture and I am avail­able for home vis­its when time per­mits,
I have devel­oped a work­book to assist peo­ple in an ongo­ing way to under­stand grief, to look at and acknowl­edge their loss and also find ways to remem­ber their beloved companion.

Pet loss and Grief Counseling

Does Coun­sel­ing Help When You Have Lost a Pet?

The loss of a pet can be for some peo­ple, a dev­as­tat­ing and mis­un­der­stood expe­ri­ence. It is not unusual, if you are feel­ing bereft and dis­tressed if you have recently expe­ri­enced the loss of your pet. Those who have never bonded closely with an ani­mal and expe­ri­enced their uncon­di­tional love can some­times dis­miss your pain and dis­tress. While death is prob­a­bly the most com­monly expe­ri­enced loss of a pet, other ways of los­ing a beloved pet, like their dis­ap­pear­ance, or hav­ing to part with a pet through fam­ily cir­cum­stances or relo­ca­tion can also be very dis­tress­ing.. The nor­mal response to loss, in what­ever form it takes, is grief and most peo­ple find it help­ful and sup­port­ive to have their loss acknowledged.

A coun­selors who under­stand pet loss, can pro­vide a secure and com­pas­sion­ate envi­ron­ment in which some­one can share their dis­tress. Each person’s response to loss is as unique as the rela­tion­ship that you shared with one you loved deeply and each such rela­tion­ship needs to be hon­oured. Most peo­ple who are griev­ing find coun­sel­ing help­ful because they are lis­tened to, respected and they have the oppor­tu­nity to express not just their pain, but what this loss means to them. Coun­sel­ing can also help you under­stand that much of what you are expe­ri­enc­ing is nor­mal and the coun­selor is able to val­i­date your feel­ings. The process of express­ing what you are feel­ing can help to reduce your emo­tional pain. Usu­ally, when some­one loses one who has had a spe­cial place in their life, they want and need to tell some­one what made their rela­tion­ship so special.

A coun­selor is usu­ally able to help you man­age your grief and sug­gest healthy ways of car­ing for your­self. An impor­tant aspect of griev­ing is to be kind to your­self. Avoid shar­ing the loss of your pet with peo­ple who will not under­stand and sup­port you. It can be dif­fi­cult if oth­ers respond to your news with some­thing like: “It is just a dog– get another one.” You rela­tion­ship with your pet was spe­cial and from them you expe­ri­enced much love and joy. You owe it to your­self and the one you loved to have that val­ued but oth­ers who are will­ing to hon­our that rela­tion­ship and sup­port you on your grief. It can some­times be eas­ier just to say to those who do not under­stand that won­der­ful bond that can exist between peo­ple and their pets, that you have recently lost a fam­ily mem­ber.
Remem­ber that talk­ing with some­one who under­stands can help you find your way through this dif­fi­cult time.

I am rebuild­ing the peo­ple and pets website.